THERE IS ANOTHER AMONG US
With one foot in Atlantis and one in Berkeley I was a woman living in two worlds. No longer could I be just Petey. I was Petey and little bit Alta Marta. With Alta Marta's reality and faith still echoing within me , I went to work on healing the lemon sized tumor in my baby nest. I planned my intent long before I meditated. I postulated, believed in the possibility, to myself that my reality could include more psychic awareness and that I would indeed be able to communicate with my white blood cells; the macrophages.
My children were at the Exploritorium in San Francisco with their Dad and I had the full afternoon to meditate. I unplugged the phone, put the cats outside, and set my clock's alarm for 2 hours. After locking the front and back doors so no friends or neighbors would come in I began to prepare my meditation space.
Of course I used my Crystal Heaven. I knew these crystals well. They were like little psychic house pets, familiar and good company during meditations. As I laid out Crystal Heaven I felt more of Alta Marta and less of the Petey personality that my childhood had formed. I doubted myself less...and believed in myself more.
All the memories of the lucid dreams and the astral projections experienced in Crystal Heaven flooded my mind. Each of my crystals have so much energy exuding from them. For so long I didn't "get" what place crystals hold in the universe. But as I acquired crystals and started living with them I began to understand them.
The crystal layers in the planet Earth are the neural links to the Earth's body. She (The Earth) is alive ...a being of her own, making us parasites living off the her skin. Crystals are an integral part of the Earth. Sometimes I wonder if we are damaging her body by taking them out of her. Yet when I am within my Crystal Heaven I feel so close to Mother Earth's spirit that it can't be anything but correct. Quite possibly those of us who know our crystals personally may be raising our energy vibrations in accordance with our planet just because of our pet rocks!
Each crystal in my Crystal Heaven spoke to me. I hear messages and information when I meditate holding any one of them as if each were a 2-way radio able to take in as well as give out input. I don't know how the messages are inscribed, maybe in energy patterns, maybe the helix...but I do know that crystals are alive and continue to grow very slowly, even as they lay in Crystal Heaven...maybe while they grow they take in information and energy around....
My Shadow Self spoke in my head, " That's crazy!" but I ignored the dark, judgmental , insecure voice. By ignoring my Shadow of Doubt, Shadow's words sometime became mere mumbles. I am noticing that when I engage Shadow the invalidating voice becomes stronger...and weaker when I ignore.
Back to my preparation and mental head space for meditating...ah yes...There was one crystal in particular that felt like Atlantis. It was the first crystal to talk to me, and the very first crystal given to me. The first time I held it the word "Atlantis" bloomed in my head. My memories of cleaning it out with a mild dish detergent to wash off the physical finger prints and genetic material left by the previous owner, setting it in a bowl of rock salt placed in the sun for several days and giving it it's rightful place in Crystal Heaven the word "Atlantis" was broadcast again.
My thoughts were racing as I approached my meditations. Each crystal I placed in the oval Crystal Heaven pattern was special to me . Each had been held in my hand or carried in my pockets when first acquired to pick up my energy and my fingerprints to record a change of ownership. Those physical life Petey memories were real and as real to me were my lucid dream memories of Alta Marta and Atlantis. Ah Atlantis where being a soul and a body is a natural occurrence...my memories rushed in like a river after a long winter's snow...gushing and washing away the last bits of intellectualizing that my Shadow could make.
I placed a chair in the center of Crystal Heaven and sat down. As my eyes closed I remembered the Taoist phrase that "even a long journey of 1,000 miles starts with one step". And I added "completed by each furthering step". Like a mantra the words reminded me to take each step in my meditations as the most important so with great care I grounded myself.
My grounding cord became the size of my aura, I could feel Mother Earth's gravitational pull drawing my physical body to her. I might as well have had seat belts because the crystals held my body tightly in place and the grounding cord kept me focused in the present moment far away from other people's opinions, daily life responsibilities, and my Shadow Self.
"Orange...yes I will use orange"...it rang in my head. "Orange...orange...orange... with a touch of pink." For no reason at all I knew that this color would assist my healing. I just knew it. "How delightful! Alta Marta's certainty is with me." The orange earth energy flowed up through my feet chakras through my leg channels and into my pelvic cradle. Then the cosmic energy flowed into the crown of my head and down the back of my spine into my pelvic cradle...the oranges with enough pink to give a peachy glow...blended in my pelvic cradle and flowed up my back spine...up...up...up and out the crown of my head . I felt physically grounded and spiritually lifted and definitely ready to talk to my body...or more precisely to hone into my immune system.
With my soul directly seated in the centered of my head I postulated that there was a meal laying in my baby nest and that the macrophages were invited to dine. I imagined them to be like little pac-men grabbing and eating bits and pieces of the tumor...all the while happily doing the job they were created to do. It felt so automatic as if once started the healing would continue to go on with or without my attention. So automatic that my mind began to wander.
"Is the best use of telekinesis moving one cell without touching it?" Most psychic abilities are so subtle and light in energy that I could hardly even recognize them out of trance. I don't know what I expected...maybe I expected telekinesis to be like Uri Geller bending a spoon or fixing a broken watch. I hardly expected so subtle a movement as the cells of my body, unseen and so far undetected by physical means, and yet motivated by my mental postulations enough to move towards my baby nest, and bring my body back to whole and natural health. It was so simple; all I had to do was communicate to one healing cell...one macrophage as if calling the garbage company to have a pick up of garbage...I called on one macrophage to enjoy a tumor dinner...and as if taping the first in a line of domino's, many were given the message.
My alarm went off and I came out of trance. The kids would be back soon . There were times in that month that I felt them working even while not sitting down to meditating. My house chores became like moving meditations. I'd be doing the dishes and suddenly my consciousness became aware of the feeding macrophages...meal after meal...they were happy and I was happy.
Two months after the tumor was found I returned to the doctor to check on it's size...finally the size of a pea. It seemed so natural to go within to heal myself...to fine tune my immune system by awareness of my intra-personal space.
You'd think I would have been astonished by this event but quite honestly I was still more amazed about my last trip to Alta Marta's world. She is me! The idea of past lives and future lives was not unfamiliar to me...but to talk to myself in a past life was beyond my wildest dreams. And to expand myself, my soul self and become more of myself by becoming one with Alta Marta was something that never crossed my mind.
Obsessed...more then obsessed, I was possessed by all the possibilities and ramifications these possibilities held for me. I was quite anxious to get on with my opening process and find out what more I could learn from my dear past life Alta Marta. What did she mean by "There is another among us"? I wondered about how many other people...souls on the planet were experiencing inner mind and soul expanding realizations? I looked into the passing faces more when I walked down a street. Each person seemed more alive. And each had their own private universes. Their mini universes glowed and became my first clairvoyant glimpse of the human aura.
I began to incorporate Alta Marta into my Petey life. My soul was ripening and becoming a succulent, wet and alive egg of energy. I felt more alive each day...not just living...but alive where I noticed every nuance of every situation. It became extremely distracting when I was driving a car. The trees were alive and embracing me. I wanted to stop and be with each tree. Sunsets would grab me and hold me captive by their beauty. I felt as if I were a part of everything...as if my aura embraced all of everything as I had embraced Alta Marta. I needed to center myself...become the center of my own universe.
After a harrowing day of embracing the world from an out-of-body state, I came home to gather myself. I could not stay in the present moment. I found my thoughts with Atlantis and Alta Marta and caught in the wonder of feeling more alive. Spacey and uncentered, meditation was the only answer. I figured that if I didn't go back to Atlantis and discover who or what is the other among us I would continue to be 'out-of-it" and unable to function as mother and Heartsong Director.
Excited, curious, a little frightened and very unfocused, I needed a day or two of juice fasting to clean out my elegant temple. Sometimes juice fasting helps me concentrate. Any way it would take a day or two to creatively busy my four children. Let's see, Cassie at Larissa's, Sarah at Molly's and Sol can be with Eli. Heather was visiting her Dad and step mom Bree in L.A. for the week. I called their friend's mothers and also Heather at her Dad's to release a scheduled day for my Astral Travels.
Carrots, carrots and more carrots...the nectar of the gods. There is nothing so perfect as fresh made vegetable and fruit juices. It's so healthy and full of vitamins and minerals...my elegant temple purred with each juice meal.
My system was clean, refreshed and ready for meditation.
I moved Crystal Heaven to my daybed so I could relax comfortably. Let's
see...children taken care of, cats are outside, phone is unplugged and the
doors are locked. My preparation dance over, I laid down within Crystal
Heaven. With my eyes shut, I was grounding myself and then I was in
Atlantis...absolute superluminal speed.
"Tumor gone and ready to learn?" It was Alta Marta.
"Yes" I replied with apprehension.
"You seem apprehensive.'
"Frightened of the unknown I guess."
"There is nothing that you are not already familiar with."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Petey, you are who you are...you are all of who you are."
Perplexed by her words I found myself staring at her with wonder. "I am confused by time." I finally blurted out.
"There is no time or space within the pathway of enlightenment. You are here...you are in Berkeley and you are elsewhere. Did you come here to talk about time?"
"No, I returned to find out what you meant by 'there is another among us.' That is the exact 'what' that I am both excited and frightened about."
"Come this way." I followed Alta Marta into her healing room. The same room where I had witnessed her healing abilities. She motioned for me to lie down on the stone slab of granite where her healee had lied. I was surprised at how warm and comfortable the rock felt under me. Lying on my back gave me a full view of the ceiling with every one of the twelve walls meeting at an invisible point beyond the structure where the sun light flowed in. There was a wonderful dance of light above me.
Alta Marta began to tone and I joined her. Our sounds blended in and out of consonance and dissonance until a third sound began to grow as if between us. The sound grew. It was a tone, one that felt vaguely familiar. It was a deep round sound which both surrounded and came from within both Alta Marta and me.
A holograph of energy imprints began to take form and shape around me. The sound overwhelmed any idea I had of being in control. The only thing to do was to surrender and experience this very unusual moment. It is strange that I would have mentioned time to Alta Marta because at this very moment all concepts of time vanished for me. I had no hold on time. It was slipping all around me as the holographic energy became my past realities. I mean that I was actually experiencing as I did the first time all the sensations, emotions, body rhythms, psychological states, smells, sights and sounds.
At once I was in San Diego two blocks from the ocean, peacefully rocking and feeding my dear sweet Heather. The doors and windows were open and the birds choired a melodic song. The air was cool as a breeze swept in off the water. As I gazed meditatively into Heather's eyes, I heard a voice loud and clear right in the center of my head saying "Move to Berkeley." So I did.
Now ordinarily I did not listen to what went on in my head. Up until Heather's birth I was focused intensely in the physical world. The many hours of devoted love and care and forced meditations of sitting in one place while breast-feeding brought an inner peace that my outer and other focused world had not offered me. These quiet moments gave me a platform or a foundation to build my inner world.
Love...it all boiled down to love. Opening my heart in this very deep way with Heather brought about an enormous amount of soul searching; Who was I?..Who was she?..How did I know exactly what she needed when she cried with no words? Just the pregnancy and co-creation of her body blew my mind...but her telepathy...it must be telepathy. How did I feel her pain or emotions as if they were my own. Where did Heather begin and I the Petey leave off?
It was within these many hours of quiet near the ocean that I began to love myself. After all if I participated in her creation I couldn't be all that bad. It was within these hours that I gave the Shadow it's name. It became quite obvious that there was a dark and critical voice repeating negative judgments in my head. And it became obvious to me that I needed to isolate that voice while raising a telepathic child.
How did I know that she was telepathic? When she first muttered Mama and Dada she revealed this talent to me. I was doing the dishes and a little irritated that her Dad had not done the dishes the night before as promised. I was really concentrating on Walker when Heather crawled into the kitchen saying "Dada? Dada? Where Dada?" She had read my mind.
As she learned more words she began to answer my thoughts. My pathway was before me...I had to understand the psychic and spiritual plains of existence to mother her. She expanded my awareness and levels of responsibility. I would have long fantasies of the amount of garbage this one little soul would generate. I began to feel responsible for the world as one. Not as many are here ...but as if I were one with all that is here and that I could make some kind of input.
But most of all I was responsible for and to her. She had been loaned to me from a very kind and generous god. She became my first spiritual teacher. She was so perfect and still connected to the source from which we all have come. I could not hurt her...not ever...for any reason...I had to clean up the center of my head...I needed to release old behaviors and rid myself of the Shadow that lurked within. I did not want my dear sweet child to take on and repeat any behavior that would develop a dark voice for her as my childhood did for me. I did know from psychology classes at college that children learn to repeat their family's relationship patterns.
As I began to pack up to move to Berkeley I awaited
another message...but there was none. With each sit down feeding I waited
to hear more direction...none. For an insecure , plagued by Shadow, I
thought of myself as quite brave. Already 3,ooo miles from my roots...now
moving to a town where I knew no one. Walker and I were separating, he
following his Hollywood dreams and I to my spiritual search.
Comet Kahouteck lent an air of excitement and magic to
the Mecca that Berkeley was fast becoming for me.
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